preparing for natural childbirth

*Some disclaimers because I know how delicate/personal/to each his own this topic is:
-These ideas are what worked for me. 
-These ideas reflect a bit on my religion.
-These ideas are considering you are not high-risk or having a complicated pregnancy.
-This post does not say anywhere in it that you cannot have a good/spiritual experience if you don't do these things.
-This is not an anti doctors/hospitals/epidural post, so please don't take it that way.
I hope that covers everything.

I've had a few friends ask me about my experience with natural childbirth, looking for pointers and such. I am flattered that I am being asked about this topic, as it is so dear to my heart because of the impact it has had on my life. While I'm definitely no expert, I feel confident enough to write this post in the hopes that it will help anyone who is interested in experiencing their childbirth the natural way. Not sure what constitutes a natural birth? Typically it means:

-Going into labor on your own (no induction and use of Pitocin- however I have a living, breathing friend who was induced and delivered TWICE without an epidural, so it can be done!)
-Managing the contractions and pushing the baby out without the use of pain medication or epidural
-Limited to no medical intervention such as breaking the bag of membranes, the use of forceps, and ultimately delivery by C-section.

Like I said, I'm not an expert and that's just my own definition of natural childbirth.

So, you want to deliver your baby all natural? Great!

1. Have a solid reason for WHY you want a natural birth. Saying "I just wanna see if I can do it" wasn't good enough for me. I wanted to do it naturally because I wanted to experience what my full potential as a woman is, I wanted to do it the way Heavenly Father intended it to be done. I also wanted to establish the very BEST foundation for breastfeeding as possible. This was very important to me because breastfeeding my baby was a goal and dream of mine (happy to report at 7 months old we are still breastfeeding and loving it!) I wanted to build the confidence in myself to do something that's hard. It is definitely the hardest thing I've done but it is my greatest accomplishment. Discover what your reasons are and write them down. 

2. Get an awesome support group goin' on. 
    -Get a midwife. Few doctors will be the support you need to go natural. A midwife became a    
      midwife to bring babies into the world naturally and cater to your needs, not the other way around. 
    -Obviously your partner (and by partner I mean the one who is going to be your biggest support at  
      the time of the birth, whether that is your husband, boyfriend, mother, sister, pet turtle, whatever) 
      NEEDS to be on board with the idea and needs to know their role in the delivery, which should be 
      established together. My husband's role was to support my desire to go natural, to be encouraging   
      and positive and to never ever mention once the "E" word.
    -Any friends or relatives you have that went natural should be great resources and support. Listen 
      to their stories. Ask them questions. Find out their reasons for going natural. There are support  
      groups all over the web and Facebook too. 

3. Try to abstain from using any medication during pregnancy. Going medication free has a lot to do with your mindset. I wanted to build my pain tolerance and change the way I thought about pain so I never took a single medication during my entire pregnancy and birth. It sucked when I had a headache but like I said, it's creating a state of mind that will prepare you for birth if you can use other techniques to manage the pain. 

4. Get moving. Stretch your hips and back daily. Do prenatal yoga. Do kegels. Do pelvic rocks. Do perineal massage (during third trimester). Have lots of sex. Walk walk walk. Going natural will use lots of energy and stamina. You don't have to train like you're running a marathon but definitely try to keep active so your body is used to physical activity, especially your pelvic floor muscles. You can also talk to your provider about taking red raspberry leaf in either tea or capsule form to help tone your uterus. Your uterus is a muscle and needs exercising and toning just like the rest of your body. Red raspberry leaf aids in that, which will help your uterus contract more efficiently to push baby out. Work smarter, not harder!

4. Watch the documentary on Netflix called The Business of Being Born. Besides being completely informative about natural birthing it also shows real labor and deliveries. Watching this was revolutionary for me. It helped me realize and see (because I'm a visual learner) exactly what I wanted for my own birth. Warning, it shows lotsa boobies. 

5. Read the book The Gift of Giving Life. It has oodles and oodles of beautiful stories and articles about women having natural births (as well as stories about miscarriages, infertility, epidurals, c-sections and VBACS). It also helps build your confidence and inner strength. It will increase your understanding of the spiritual nature of having a baby as well. Worth the $20, no matter what your religion is. 

6. Start telling yourself and others that you will do a natural birth. Don't make it a "maybe I will" or "I'll see how the contractions are" because that leaves room for self-doubt. Listen, IT HURTS. The pain is real. I had to accept early on in my pregnancy that it would be painful. I focused on learning to deal with and manage the pain, not make the pain go away. If you want the pain to go away, then get the epidural because that's the only thing that will make the pain go away (and sometimes isn't successful in doing that either!) Don't let pride keep you from making a firm statement of "I WILL." If you don't end up doing it natural it doesn't mean you failed. No way, not true. You are still bringing a little human into the world no matter how it's done. And that is a miracle!! But the more you tell yourself and others that you are doing it naturally, the more you begin to believe it too. 

7. Build up your confidence. Keep a journal and write down positive statements like, "I am strong, I am capable. I was made for this. My body knows exactly what to do. I trust myself and my body to birth this baby. I have divine power to experience natural childbirth." Find other motivational phrases and quotes on Pinterest, you know there's a bajillion out there. Say these statements out loud, say them often. My personal favorites were "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right" as well as "This too shall pass". 

8. Take a childbirth class. My hubby and I took a Prepared Childbirth class offered through the University of Utah hospital that was non-specific to any type of birth, mostly just informative to all things birth-related. (The most influential part of the class was when the instructor passed around an actual epidural kit for us to look at and handle. Seeing and holding the needle in my hand was enough for me to know I did not want that shoved into my back.) I've had friends who loved the Bradley Method and there's also Lamaze but whatever you decide, it helps A TON to get educated! 

9. Look at your pregnancy and birth as a spiritual experience rather than a medical condition. Medical conditions require medications and interventions, having a baby does not (unless of course you are high-risk or are having a complicated pregnancy.) So whatever it is you do to create spirituality, do it. I personally enjoyed praying, reading scriptures and quotes, listening to uplifting music, meditating and writing in my journal. I was so much more in tune with my body and spirit when I did these things. I also felt so much peace. Birthing a baby naturally is well...natural! If you stay in tune with your body and intuitions, I promise you will know what to do when it comes down to the moment.

As you can see, most of the prep work is all MENTAL. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power! There is absolutely nothing to fear if you know what you are capable of and build lots of confidence. Don't psych yourself out, you CAN do it naturally! 

You can read my birth story here.